Meet Me In The Darkness
by Blurred Memories
Summary: "Tell me about your life, perfectly ordinary and beautifully normal; I'll tell you about mine, I'll tell you about the life I made up just for you. Believe me sane, believe me no different from all the others. Believe my lie, sweet Mina, so that maybe one day I will believe it as well." ONE SHOT, Vanessa's thoughts on her demons and her relationship with Mina.


**Author's note:** Just something that popped into my mind while listening to a few songs by Tender, which are great by the way. I don't own Penny Dreadful, if I did Vanessa would have gotten a much deserved happy ending.

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Why the hell am I wearing this daft smile on my face? I don't feel like smiling. The corners of my mouth twitched upwards of their own accord the moment you entered the room and our eyes locked together. It doesn't belong on my face, this traitorous smile. I have no energy to feed it right now. Besides, I don't think you're going to fall for it; I cannot fool you this time. Glassy red-rimmed eyes and quivering lips are giving it all away, this sloppy deceit of mine.

I want to run, I want to hide. I don't want anybody to see the tears welling up, a mirror image of my disgraceful secret. I don't want you to see me for who I am, I don't want you to get scared and leave. I don't want to hurt you, yet your happiness burns me. How I envy you, sweet Mina. So pretty, so innocent, so oblivious to my inner struggle; running around with a butterfly net while I'm chasing shadows through my distorted mind. My madness lurks within, so discreet. Remarkable, right?

Speak to me, sister. Tell me about your life, perfectly ordinary and beautifully normal; I'll tell you about mine, I'll tell you about the life I made up just for you. No place is darker than my own mind, no screams are more piercing than those of the creatures that inhabit it; but you don't need to know that. Believe me sane, believe me no different from all the others. Believe my lie, dear Mina, so that maybe one day I will believe it as well.

I love you, sister. Why can't I bring myself to tell you the truth even when I want to with all my heart? Don't I love you enough? Don't I trust you enough? Oh, but I do.

As darkness falls I creep into your bed, silent as the night itself. I lay on my side, head propped on my fist as I watch you sleep from over your shoulder. My arm sneaks around your slender waist, my hand moves up between your heaving breasts, my fingers wrap themselves around your pale throat. I plant feather kisses on the soft skin of your bare shoulder, careful not to wake you. I bury my nose in your silky blond hair, wishing I could get high on your sweet scent for the rest of my life.

Then I remember who I am, locks of raven hair falling before my eyes remind me of our differences. And I remember the fight I wake up to every morning, the peace I will never get. You could never understand. What a relief it would be though, if you could actually rip this well-crafted mask off my face for once.

So here I stand before you, sister. I'm waiting for you to expose me. Call my bluff, draw me out in the open. I don't want to name my demons. Make me. Then maybe they'll vanish into thin air and I'll be finally free, worthy of my life, worthy of your love.

My mask comes off just for a moment; I feel naked. Take a good look while you can, sister. Tell me that you're not afraid, tell me a pretty lie and I will fall for it. I've fooled you so many times, I've fed you lies upon lies... it's your turn.

What's with the look now? Don't you like what you see? I know, it scares me too. No, wait, please... don't turn away. Wait a minute, sister, let me fetch my mask again. Say the word and I'll wear it forever, just to keep you by my side. Let your lovely lips curve into a familiar smile, won't you do that for me? I swear you'll never catch a glimpse of my true soul again.

But you cannot forget what you saw now, can you? Now that you know what lies underneath my pretty face you're afraid it will haunt you forever. Too late. Hear the Lord of Darkness cry out, Mina, what's he saying? Run for your life. Run.

It's too late.

I catch a teardrop about to fall off the tip of my nose, I watch it slid down my finger until my skin drinks it all dry. You're under my skin, even if I cannot see you; I'm under yours. Now we have something in common.

He's handsome, isn't he? Deliciously irresistible, so hard to fight. And isn't it extraordinary, the way he crept into your heart and mind? You barely noticed, didn't you? Did it hurt? No, of course not. The devil's tongue is _a seduction and before you blink twice it's all you can speak,_ all you know, all you desire.

 _I love you enough to kill you_ , Mina, and in time I will set you free. But for now... meet me in the darkness, sister.

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Words in italics have been taken from the series.

 **Thanks for reading :)**


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